i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
