Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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