Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
