I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
