My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You left your phone here
Wait...
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
