you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
