Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize