I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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