sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
