She's JV to your varsity
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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