If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
