i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
