I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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