What did we do last night that was yellow?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
