I want to stick my p in your. b.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
