okay pat passed out under dana's car
I smell stomach acid.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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