It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
