I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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