I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
