He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
