I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
