I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
