I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He better not be in your backpack
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Come share oat with me in your robe
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
