You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
