I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I would ride that face into the sunset
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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