I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
