rhymes with "ouble enetration"
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
