ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
