Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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