i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
