I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
he just fucked me for my cheese..
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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