I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
