Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize