the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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