he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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