i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
