it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
