see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize