she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
