I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
