Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
she looked like the before picture.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
