So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
