After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
