My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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