Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
