Im at strip club and am horny
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
