You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
