I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize