she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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