the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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