we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
