Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
