I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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