just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Alive.
So much puke
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
