Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
