you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
