it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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