craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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