That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
