Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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